The holiday season is upon us, and regardless of your culture or beliefs, everyone has some family traditions about one holiday, celebration, or other special day. So, it's time to share! What special days do you celebrate? What traditions does your family hold? What is your favorite holiday? What are your favorite holiday memories? This is the writing assignment from Featured Grownups site.
I mentioned a Christmas that I don't often mention here, and it was too sad to enjoy retelling. So, let me just say that I really have mellowed with my holiday enjoyment. I once was an awful mess trying to make a perfect holiday happen which only made my family somewhat miserable. Now, I have only myself to celebrate with, and I am still figuring out what is important and what isn't, sometimes.
Part of the holiday activity with my early parenting years was going to all the parent's homes. I had 8 parents, and my husband had two. His didn't live in the same state, so all the visitations that my kids will remember has to do with my family. I'll explain as we go.
On Thanksgiving, we always used fine china and crystal or at least stoneware and glass ware for the kids. Everyone would have a chair to sit in and a place at a table. Christmas was the same way, as is Easter. Other holidays we will use the disposable stuff as much as possible! The meal was usually served at 2 pm, to allow enough time to travel, or the time for someone to go to church before they had to get their part of the meal and come to dinner. Everyone brought something for the meal, but the host family always had the turkey, dressing/stuffing, gravy and mashed potatoes. There would have to be black olives, but the desserts could be varied. In the last decade or so, there was usually pumpkin roll since my sister and I made them together before Thanksgiving. We'd always make enough to give some away as Christmas gifts, so the freezer was stuffed with 'em. She'd do the filling and I'd make the cakes. We'd both take them out of the oven as the timer told us to, and she'd do the rolling. We could both do either part, though.
Right after Thanksgiving would be Advent. The wreath would come out right after the Thanksgiving company would leave or just as we'd come home (depending on whether we hosted or guested for it that year). There would be three candles of one color, and one candle of another color and finally the white one in the middle: the Christ candle. One year we had three green and one red, but generally we did stay with the three purple, one pink and one white. I wrote about the colors and what they meant beginning here. I also mentioned how I used the wreath to keep Christmas from being such an insane time, and I still do it for the same reasons. I might do with out anything else, Christmas tree, Christmas cookies or even gifts; but I've always observed the Advent wreath devotions.
While I was married, we saved decorating the tree until Dec 15th, because that was our anniversary. It was the one thing that we could be sure to do to celebrate, so it was reserved for that day only. I would have the tree up and the lights would be on it, but no ornaments until the 15th. Then we'd deck the halls, the walls and anything else that stayed still too long, lol. I once decorated one of the kids who was sitting too still.
I have to admit something here. I tend to make a friend of the Christmas tree. I will sit down and look at it during the day and in the evening with all the other lights off in the house and only Christmas music going and I will move an ornament here or there, drape some tinsel in a better way or move some garland around until it's just right for the tree that its all placed on. Then I will sit and think over old holidays, what's happening this holiday, or just other languid thoughts about Christmas - and I'll even pray to God about the things I remember. But I will spend hours just looking at the tree with the lights on in a darkened room or during the daylight and just enjoy it. I would tell my puzzled sons who would wonder at me, that I was "making friends" with it. I think it was another way I would keep the pressure from building too much.
By Christmas Eve, the merry race was ON! Dressed nicely for pictures, we'd arrive at my first foster parents for their party. There would be a fire in the fireplace, my foster brother and sister with their families, lots of gifts and pictures and great food. My sons loved the time at Gramma and Grampa S's, since they were always child friendly and had a good sense of fun. We'd take the way home late in the evening, and tuck the kids in before hurrying to wrap final gifts for the morning. When the kids got older, we'd let them open one gift before bedtime (usually a nice robe or pajamas to have morning pictures taken in). Even later on, we'd let them open them all that evening instead of waiting, and you'll see why...
We never taught our kids the Santa thing, cause we were too poor. I didn't want my kids to think that they didn't get a very desired item because they weren't "good enough" (like my sisters and I had thought). We just told them that other families played the Santa game, and that there really WAS a man in history who did some great things for kids, but he wasn't alive anymore. This didn't always work well when we were in public :rolls eyes:. So, Christmas morning they would get up and open gifts right away. I'd try and get a breakfast served, but mostly, I was watching the clock. We had to have the kids dressed in suits and ties and in the car for a one hour drive by 1 pm, or I'd be in trouble with my stepmom for sure (that happened a few times, cause I didn't have the heart to pull my kids away from their stuff). Either before or after gifts, we'd light the Christ Candle and see the whole Advent Wreath lit up!
So, off to my father and step moms for Christmas dinner. We'd meet my sister and her two kids there, as well as the other three younger sisters. It was always the BEST food and great fun with really thoughtful gifts from their Gramma and Grampa Sr's. As the kids got older, we'd play games after the meal and dishes were cleared up.
We'd leave there about five or six and go to my birth mother's home. That was less comfortable, but we'd meet my sister and her kids there again, and some years there were my brothers and their kids as well. So, we'd all exchange gifts and take the pictures before taking the tired kids home who were more than stuffed with all kinds of food and goodies.
The next day, December 26 was Boxing Day at a friend's home in the evening in our later years, but for the first couple of years when my firstborn was our only child, it was the day we spent with my second foster family. They moved to Colorado after that, and so that day would be their day to play with their gifts until time to go to Boxing Day and be with their other cousins (my foster sister from that family would meet us there). We'd bring a hostess gift for the hostess, but we'd save our other gifts for passing as we'd leave so we could make sure that my foster sis and her family were gifted rightly.
Then, from Dec 27 th onward, the gifts were to stay under the tree until the child wrote their thank you cards out. When they were little they could dictate them to me and make their mark. Or, I 'd have them draw a picture of them enjoying the gift. Later on, I'd let them use pre-made cards and then write a brief note. It was a good practice. That was another good reason not to tell the Santa tale. They needed to know who to thank.
New Year's wasn't ever the same thing, so it's wasn't always much of a deal. Sometimes we'd party with family or friends. Sometimes we just went to bed and slept through it all.
On Twelfth Night (Jan 6th) - ahhh! That was when we'd "Pack for Egypt"! The Advent Wreath is lit one last time with all the Candles burning. Then ALL the decorations come down and get put away at once. I might have packed up the tree ornaments the night before; but generally - all of the decorations came down on that one day. I reminded the kids that Mary and Joseph had to pack in a hurry, so we had to be calm but deliberate as we put our stuff away just like they had to pack. It helped keep them from getting upset, but sometimes the stress of it all got the best of me and their father, (pooh)! It just seemed like there was way more to put away than there was to getting it out. Of course we put it up in more than one day, too.
I have a tendency to not follow tradition~ and it drives my older daughter crazy~ bcs she's a stickler for never veering from tradition. But I do have a few favorites I will return to every once in awhile.
We sometimes do scavenger hunts for the kids and their presents. I write goofy poems that lead them to the next clue. This can be chaos~ but it is fun!
We pick different themes for the meals~ not the traditional holday options. Surf and Turf~ Mexican Fiesta~ Local Chinese Restaurant.
I love to print out photos of the kids and make gift tags~ intead of the normal To and From tags. This works great~ esp when the kids are younger and can't read yet. But even my adult and teens love this.
We have some favorites candy recipes we like to make~ Buckeyes, Cherry Mash and Potato Candy.
I used to be pretty OCD about our Christmas trees~ now that the kids are all older~ they are in complete charge of pulling it out of the attic~ and setting it up~ and even the decorating. My only part~ pick out the new cowboy ornaments from the local craft fair. Ya~ it's a tough job.
The one thing we always do is pick a family out and bless them~ with gifts they may not otherwise get to experience. There was onr time~ when money was a little tight~ and we wouldn't be able to give to another family. When we approached our kids~ and said we wouldn't have extra to give away this year. On their own~ they opted to give up their own gifts~ to bless another family. It was at that point~ I knew they really understood how to celebrate the season.
Great post~ and thank you for the opportunity to share!
Thanks. your post is linked :)
Do you give up anything or fast for Lent?
You said you have only yourself to celebrate with? Do you not spend Christmas with your sons?
@WildWomanOfTheWest - I love your stories of your traditions. You should copy and paste it to your site and flesh it out if you like. That way we can give you props .
@uklordjack - I often will give up something and fast for Lent. It's also part of Passover for me, since I am a Messianic believer, and I celebrate both occasions.
@JstNotherDay - Good question :). I might celebrate with them for a few hours on one day; but it's not always going to happen, so I try not to expect too much. They are married, and there are other friends that they might want to gather with, now that the grandparents are no longer having gathers. Both of my surviving foster mothers live out of state, as does my step father (my brothers' father) now, and my birth mother is in a retirement home so doesn't have a place to have any kind of gather.
Most of the places I have lived in the past 9 years have been too small to hostess any form of gather. It wasn't until last year that I finally have a place to entertain just my four beloveds. That's cause my home is only two rooms and the parking is limited, so I can't have more than my sons and their brides for a dinner and visit. We managed to do it, though .
It is more fun to decorate knowing that they will see the results and share some of the fun of enjoying any day they can with me. We try to make it a meal and a game as well as gift exchange and visitation.
I still find it relaxing to decorate at Christmas time...but Nana always taught us that New Years Day it had to all be packed and put away...it might take a while to set up the living room and kitchen for me but packing it away quickly and quietly has always been easy for me...Nana used to do it for our house and one of my Aunts houses...but she would do all the decorating in all the rooms so we all became accustomed to it through time...and there could be no arguing or fighting or talking or singing...when Nana said quietly she ment quietly...smile
growing up in a "dysfunctional religious" family, holidays have been a struggle for me to say the least. But the last few years, have been pretty good. I have to honestly say, what you wrote about the tree, is ME! I enjoy the lights so much, that I now buy them on clearance and stick them wherever I can use some light. I entwine them in greenery and stuff. But as far as traditions go, we put up our tree Thanksgiving night. We HAVE to be at his moms for Christmas Eve, which has been a thorn also, but the past 2 years, it has been at my home due to her health. But............Christmas Day is our anniversary, so trying to tie that in is EXTREMELY HARD! . I have to honestly say, I wished my holidays were "brighter" but I still tie up memories with emotions. And I also know-HOLIDAYS ARE WHAT I MAKE OF THEM!!! So.....I am trying!
What lovely memories and traditions you have celebrated over the years.
I thought I was the only one to just sit and watch the Christmas tree. I love that private time. Your post is lovely.
@m_elmer_48 - That would be a different experience (having to be quiet during the "put away" time).
@jimsruby - Keep trying! What I did to help me along when I still had family at home was to ask them each to tell me what they would miss if it didnt' happen at Christmas. The answers surprised me, and helped me see what I could drop that I honestly didn't want to keep doing anyway, lol. Sometimes, they never mentioned something that I wanted, so I allowed myself to keep that one thing for ME, instead of them. And Christmas for an anniversary?!? Wow!
@stixandstonz2009 - Thanks for the comment, and I love the new guinea piggy's picture :).
@GoodGuyTheBoss - Isn't it really hard to explain? But it is sooo important, too. I have had years where I had no Christmas tree, and it felt odd not to have that time. The years I had no tree were: because I was either only renting a room and it was too small to allow for one, or I was just too busy with a new job, singing in a Chorus, and other church activities (and it was a good decision not to do it even in afterthought), as well as only having it for myself since I was only in a studio apartment and had no room to entertain anyway. I wonder - when you look at a new home, do you see where the tree will go in your mind's eye, too? XD
Thanks all for the warm feedback!
That is exactly what I have done. I ask THEM. Matter of fact, we talked on Thanksgiving today.
Christmas anniversary-it was his idea!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cant believe I agreed, but I wanted to be married!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOL
Fun read, I enjoyed. I must say the decorating the tree on the 15th for your anniversary is really cool.
@Dargon - it really worked out nice. We'd decorate with the kids during the day, then have a meal, tuck them in and then sit with wine and quiet sometimes for a nice evening celebration. Sometimes, a family member would baby sit while we did some Christmas shopping, or we'd use a coupon for a dinner that my foster parents gave us to celebrate after we decorated the tree. It was a nice way to ensure it didn't get lost in the rush. Sometimes we were sorry to wait that long, too, though, lol.
@jimsruby - Well, I think it's a great anniversary :).
Thanks for sharing.
Great entry. Thanks for sharing! I'm having fun reading all of these
@radicalramblings - I have enjoyed reading them, too. I need to go back and leave some comments, since I was just too sick to compose anything last week. I'm on the mend, though a bit slowly, now.
Thanks for the feedback!
Great entry. One of the best.
@thereluctantsinger - Awww thanks for saying that . I really enjoyed reading all of the stories though, since each of them help enhance the next one we read.
I too sit quietly at night and spend some time with the tree. Great entry, I enjoyed reading it very much.
@Jackee0779 - I had no idea I had so much company on that quiet time with the Christmas tree. I'm honestly kinda glad that I do :). Thanks for the feedback, Jackee!
Wow. That sounds busy. That thank you card idea is pretty fantastic. More people should do that, hah.
Comments (22)
That was a really cool read!
I have a tendency to not follow tradition~ and it drives my older daughter crazy~ bcs she's a stickler for never veering from tradition. But I do have a few favorites I will return to every once in awhile.
We sometimes do scavenger hunts for the kids and their presents. I write goofy poems that lead them to the next clue. This can be chaos~ but it is fun!
We pick different themes for the meals~ not the traditional holday options. Surf and Turf~ Mexican Fiesta~ Local Chinese Restaurant.
I love to print out photos of the kids and make gift tags~ intead of the normal To and From tags. This works great~ esp when the kids are younger and can't read yet. But even my adult and teens love this.
We have some favorites candy recipes we like to make~ Buckeyes, Cherry Mash and Potato Candy.
I used to be pretty OCD about our Christmas trees~ now that the kids are all older~ they are in complete charge of pulling it out of the attic~ and setting it up~ and even the decorating. My only part~ pick out the new cowboy ornaments from the local craft fair. Ya~ it's a tough job.
The one thing we always do is pick a family out and bless them~ with gifts they may not otherwise get to experience. There was onr time~ when money was a little tight~ and we wouldn't be able to give to another family. When we approached our kids~ and said we wouldn't have extra to give away this year. On their own~ they opted to give up their own gifts~ to bless another family. It was at that point~ I knew they really understood how to celebrate the season.
Great post~ and thank you for the opportunity to share!
Thanks. your post is linked :)
Do you give up anything or fast for Lent?
You said you have only yourself to celebrate with? Do you not spend Christmas with your sons?
@Vignettery - thanks for that :).
@WildWomanOfTheWest - I love your stories of your traditions. You should copy and paste it to your site and flesh it out if you like. That way we can give you props
.
@uklordjack - I often will give up something and fast for Lent. It's also part of Passover for me, since I am a Messianic believer, and I celebrate both occasions.
@JstNotherDay - Good question :). I might celebrate with them for a few hours on one day; but it's not always going to happen, so I try not to expect too much. They are married, and there are other friends that they might want to gather with, now that the grandparents are no longer having gathers. Both of my surviving foster mothers live out of state, as does my step father (my brothers' father) now, and my birth mother is in a retirement home so doesn't have a place to have any kind of gather.
Most of the places I have lived in the past 9 years have been too small to hostess any form of gather. It wasn't until last year that I finally have a place to entertain just my four beloveds. That's cause my home is only two rooms and the parking is limited, so I can't have more than my sons and their brides for a dinner and visit. We managed to do it, though
.
It is more fun to decorate knowing that they will see the results and share some of the fun of enjoying any day they can with me. We try to make it a meal and a game as well as gift exchange and visitation.
I still find it relaxing to decorate at Christmas time...but Nana always taught us that New Years Day it had to all be packed and put away...it might take a while to set up the living room and kitchen for me but packing it away quickly and quietly has always been easy for me...Nana used to do it for our house and one of my Aunts houses...but she would do all the decorating in all the rooms so we all became accustomed to it through time...and there could be no arguing or fighting or talking or singing...when Nana said quietly she ment quietly...smile
growing up in a "dysfunctional religious" family, holidays have been a struggle for me to say the least. But the last few years, have been pretty good. I have to honestly say, what you wrote about the tree, is ME! I enjoy the lights so much, that I now buy them on clearance and stick them wherever I can use some light. I entwine them in greenery and stuff. But as far as traditions go, we put up our tree Thanksgiving night. We HAVE to be at his moms for Christmas Eve, which has been a thorn also, but the past 2 years, it has been at my home due to her health. But............Christmas Day is our anniversary, so trying to tie that in is EXTREMELY HARD! . I have to honestly say, I wished my holidays were "brighter" but I still tie up memories with emotions. And I also know-HOLIDAYS ARE WHAT I MAKE OF THEM!!! So.....I am trying!
What lovely memories and traditions you have celebrated over the years.
I thought I was the only one to just sit and watch the Christmas tree. I love that private time. Your post is lovely.
@m_elmer_48 - That would be a different experience (having to be quiet during the "put away" time).
@jimsruby - Keep trying! What I did to help me along when I still had family at home was to ask them each to tell me what they would miss if it didnt' happen at Christmas. The answers surprised me, and helped me see what I could drop that I honestly didn't want to keep doing anyway, lol. Sometimes, they never mentioned something that I wanted, so I allowed myself to keep that one thing for ME, instead of them. And Christmas for an anniversary?!? Wow!
@stixandstonz2009 - Thanks for the comment, and I love the new guinea piggy's picture :).
@GoodGuyTheBoss - Isn't it really hard to explain? But it is sooo important, too. I have had years where I had no Christmas tree, and it felt odd not to have that time. The years I had no tree were: because I was either only renting a room and it was too small to allow for one, or I was just too busy with a new job, singing in a Chorus, and other church activities (and it was a good decision not to do it even in afterthought), as well as only having it for myself since I was only in a studio apartment and had no room to entertain anyway. I wonder - when you look at a new home, do you see where the tree will go in your mind's eye, too? XD
Thanks all for the warm feedback!
That is exactly what I have done. I ask THEM. Matter of fact, we talked on Thanksgiving today.
Christmas anniversary-it was his idea!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cant believe I agreed, but I wanted to be married!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOL
Fun read, I enjoyed. I must say the decorating the tree on the 15th for your anniversary is really cool.
@Dargon - it really worked out nice. We'd decorate with the kids during the day, then have a meal, tuck them in and then sit with wine and quiet sometimes for a nice evening celebration. Sometimes, a family member would baby sit while we did some Christmas shopping, or we'd use a coupon for a dinner that my foster parents gave us to celebrate after we decorated the tree. It was a nice way to ensure it didn't get lost in the rush. Sometimes we were sorry to wait that long, too, though, lol.
@jimsruby - Well, I think it's a great anniversary :).
Thanks for sharing.
Great entry. Thanks for sharing! I'm having fun reading all of these
@my_final_username - Thanks for leaving a comment :).
@radicalramblings - I have enjoyed reading them, too. I need to go back and leave some comments, since I was just too sick to compose anything last week. I'm on the mend, though a bit slowly, now.
Thanks for the feedback!
Great entry. One of the best.
@thereluctantsinger - Awww thanks for saying that
. I really enjoyed reading all of the stories though, since each of them help enhance the next one we read.
I too sit quietly at night and spend some time with the tree. Great entry, I enjoyed reading it very much.
@Jackee0779 - I had no idea I had so much company on that quiet time with the Christmas tree. I'm honestly kinda glad that I do :). Thanks for the feedback, Jackee!
Wow. That sounds busy. That thank you card idea is pretty fantastic. More people should do that, hah.